Monday, 20 April 2015

in heavy mist and glitter dust // current vibe

Today is stormy...turbulent almost. Everyone has pulled out their especially fuzzy jumpers, their broken umbrellas. They get caught in the wind, they scowl - Sydneysiders hate rain, you heard it here first. 

For me, today has consisted of two parts, alternating between two themes. One is cosy and safe, the other wild and free.  The warm and cosy was tea in bed this morning, baths in nice herbal body wash, a halumoi burger with a lovely friend in a cute lil' cafe and then laughs with some other mates later in the day. I don't wanna go all Sex and the City on you but let me be real, I love female friendship. Teenage girls have a knack for forming close bonds with each other and then providing emotional-hurricane proof support and radiating positivity - ain't that grand! 

The wild, free part of today was walking in the rain, which gets super fun and maybe even a wee bit beautiful when you give up on trying to stay dry. I also spent much of today listening to 'Pools,' by Glass Animals, the lyrics of which are in the title of this post. It's kinda the perfect song for today, fit for walking briskly through the rain. In fact, when I walked into my back lane on the way home as the rain bucketed down and the street remained deserted I may or may not have even danced a little. 

CURRENT VIBE: I'm the girl writing elaborate plans for the school term that starts in two days. The girl baking cookies and buying flowers. The girl reading shitons of feminist literature so she can have further ammunition to smash the patriarchy. You can be this girl if you see friends for coffee as a means of procrastination and listen to jazz covers. She'll probably be a different person next week. 

Stay cool, kids, 
Bella xx

PS. Body Positive Club is back baby!!! Bea and I wrote a post together on an issue we care about a lot...Slut Shaming! You can check it out here
PPS. My poem...IN FLUX made it into the 8th issue of CHERRY MAG, check it out here

Wednesday, 15 April 2015

kick down the walls // notes on privilege & black and white

Let's have a conversation about the things I take for granted: cis-privilege, white privilege, social privilege, being able-bodied, not having a mental illness. The world I see is entirely shaped by this privilege, every experience I've had in the past shapes the experience I am having at this very moment in time. The world changes around me, I change. Things are ever-fluid, with every experience, every news story, every person I meet, everything I read I realise how important it is for me to get comfortable in the grey area, because everything I once thought was black and white...isn't. 

Gender is a spectrum. Sexuality is a spectrum. People change. Relationships are complex, lines are blurred. People are complex...lines are blurred. And yet logically, we try and organise the chaos. We separate people, we draw attempt to make things simpler for ourselves. But how can we do that when the influences and privilege that shape our decision making are entirely different to those of the people we are trying to separate from ourselves. 

The combination of blindness to privilege and this constant expectation of black and white has gotta be harmful, right? For everyone involved, everyone involved being...everyone. There's all these weird ideas that stop us getting comfy in the grey area, which seems to be  less harmful then this kooky line drawing shit. Some of my least faves include: the friend zone, a gross idea that thrives on the concept that 1) friendship is at a lesser value to relationships 2) a person expressing honest, true feelings will always fuck things up. Other gross ideas include: gender roles and binary, expectation of no fluidity of sexuality and this 'just get up and get a job idea,' an idea that sees economic differences as black and white and as a result of laziness and opposed to a result of social and economic factors. 

The world is grey as fuck, and the fact that the values that dictate the way we live are not is only going to cause harm. The breaking down of social systems such as this and the rebirth of a world that allows fluidity and experimentation and the art and culture and music and content that could come from that is a thought that makes me incredibly excited. 

This is mostly directed at myself but in light of this all, I'm going to write a lil' memo and stick it on the inside of my skull - calm down baby, chill, take a step back, stop trying to label and organise feelings and things and people, let the complexity of it all wash over you and take it as what it is. 

Much love, 
Bella xx 
PS. When ever I write a social justice type post I live in fear that I've said something insensitive or offensive, if there is something in this post that makes you feel icky - lemme know and I'll get rid of it ASAP! 

Saturday, 4 April 2015

flapper // a holiday moodboard

I've got 2 weeks off for the holidays and it's always a really good opportunity to regroup. Re-establish the vibe of your life, try new things, hang out with mates, get some quality creative work done, all that kind of stuff.  

So, a few weeks ago someone said to me 'I can totally imagine you as a flapper' and it was the ultimate compliment because there's nothing I'd really rather be. Then later, on a completely unrelated note, probably my subconscious urging me to return to the flapper I was in a different life, I cut my hair into a bob and upped my eyeliner game. So, here I am - Bella: a wannabe flapper, and I guess a lot of my holiday goals and moods and ideas centre around that idea. 

Love you all, 

Monday, 30 March 2015

date urself // & other self care practices 01

I tell you what's a fucking terrifying thought: the only truly consistent relationship in your life is the one you have with yourself. The only thing that you can hold onto tightly and know for absolute sure that you're in it together, whether you like it or not. And yeah, that's scary, claustrophobic even.  But all it means is that it's a relationship you need to put a little time & love into. You need to get used to you

So take yourself out. Sit in a cute cafe, watch a french film, walk around on nice days drinking coffee with a stella ice coffee, daydream about cute boys & girls. Smile because of and in spite of yourself. Textbook self care stuff. I blab on about this shit all the time...but why should you do it? 

In a ableist society that thrives off constantly praises movement and getting shit done and constantly doing something to furthur humanity or make money or whatever, taking time for yourself to do something that isn't nesercerrily productive in the same way money making is, is a subtle act of rebellion. And it shouldn't be...because for us as individuals, getting to know ourselves is key, looking after ourselves similarly so. 

We also live in a society that is geared towards extroverts, which is good if your like me and you are an extrovert but also means that more introverted behaviour is not as talked about. And in all my extrovertism, I can't pretend I don't need time for myself. I can't pretend I don't love listening to music on the train and walking through the parts of my city with the best architecture alone - I live for that shit. I can sit there and think about the fact that I'm doing well and that my coffee is especially good today and write a to do list or maybe something a little more substantial and all is well. Date yourself. 

More coming later, 
Bella xx

Saturday, 14 March 2015

all she wants to do is bang..kok // guess who went to thailand

Bit of a radio silence over here I know, I know. I spent 2 weeks with my mates in Thailand doing a lil' bitta community service, as well as exploring markets and doing cooking classes. And then I got back and shit happened, two weeks past and here we are.

Thailand was fucking fantastic, all sticky rice with mango and sun and genie pants and that mellow sleepy bones feeling you get when you do exercise or swim. It was a school trip and living with my friends for two weeks was killer, I miss that part a lot, dancing and sharing moisturiser and all that super positive, supportive female friendship. 

So what did we do: now I don't want to alarm anyone, so I'll say this in the most low key way possible - we built a basketball court. Now I had initial misconceptions: here was I sitting in the corner, being cynical thinking 'well, well, well, a bunch of private school girls go over to a third world country to do nothing and then validate themselves, 'justifying' their own privilege,' bUT it wasn't like that. We got shit done, the physical side was not only intense but rewarding and really kind of therapeutic. We also went to massage school, cooking classes and a beautiful night market. 

I also listened to some really good tunes in Thailand, faves from the trip were: Bound 2 by Kanye, Sweatpants by Gambino (lyrics from this song are scattered throughout this post) and Lily Allen's entire It's Not Me It's You, which is a kind of consistent fave of mine.

And then I got back: and school upped the anti. Assessments are pilled up, everything felt, no feels in motion, and everything else was, no is, on the back burner. Blogging, making music, writing, reading, exercise: it ain't happening at the moment and the rejection of the most important part of yourself, the creative part,  in the name of a project on coastal management and a maths exam can leave you feeling odd, just a little bit. I don't wanna pull the let's talk about feelings card, but I'm going to pull the let's talk about feelings card. I don't really have a grasp on what's going on, everything felt has an undertone of emptiness or a sad nostalgia as if thinking things are not what they used to be, I've become too emotionally invested in things that aren't going to give anything back which is no doubt, always a bad idea, do not recommend. 

But god, it's not all bad: this past week I've gone to the pretty library in my area, had lots of bubble tea and good ice coffee, I spent an evening at a wharf and the light was beautiful, I had a really good Italian dinner and I saw old friends and ate falafel and pita bread. 

THIS WEEK (@ me): keep the most important part of yourself alive and thriving, be incredibly organised in doing your assessments, over estimate how long it will take you to do everything: Evernote and are your new best mates. Buy flowers, keep your room clean to clear your head. Read and write when you have a spare moment, on the train, before bed. Put more thought into what your eating. 

How are you all? Tell me about your week! 
Bella x 

Tuesday, 10 February 2015

asos faves // pieces & the girl you would be in them

An effort to make something slightly productive out of hours upon hours spent browsing on asos.
Swing Dress with Velvet // Reclaimed Vintage Dress with Embroidery 

In the swing dress you would be in a jazz club until 6am, smoking. In the embroidered dress you would be at the beach at 6am, doing yoga, drinking chai and meditating. 

Thea Girlfriend Jeans // Off The Shoulder Top in Stripe

The girl in girlfriend jeans spends the day walking the inner city, drinking ice coffee, yawning from a late night with her girlfriend. The girl in the stripey top has her shit together, managing jobs, hobbies, people. She knows what she's doing. 
Reclaimed Vintage Jumpsuit in Sheer Gingham // Jumpsuit in Retrotile Print

The girl in the black jumpsuit has been travelling for months, she's almost out of money but happy, and feeling infinitely free. The girl in the Retrotile print manages bands, smiling and keepin' her cool. 

I think one of the problem's I have with consumerism is that I always think a product is going to transform me as a person, I guess this post is a manifestation of that. 

Stay wild, 
Bella xx 

Thursday, 5 February 2015

you are the universe // good habits & current aesthetic

One of my favourite things is comparing other things to the universe. I think it's because when people say things like 'there's more connections in your brain than in the galaxy,' and you think 'wow, is that a thing?' And you feel pretty insignificant, that's a given, but you also feel like you are of the upmost importance, like the only thing you actually know is yourself. I'm a on a constant search for things that make me feel like this: late night walks with friends, cosmology and Cavalier by James Vincent McMorrow.  

SO, further to that end, I've been playing a little with the idea that everyone is a universe. I'll be on the train listening to Uptown Funk on REPEAT because it's a killer song and I could listen to it for a solid day straight. And I'll watch people and it will emerge from a sea of bad coffee and private school girls (not that I can talk, HA!) - people are so complex. If you take into consideration everyone's childhood, every tone of nostalgia, every person they're ever connected with, everything they've ever felt. If you imagine mapping them out, imagine mapping yourself out. 

You realise everything you feel and think is experienced through your stream of consciousness, characterised by you and your bias. And yes, the universe is vast and mind blowing but you, in all your intricacy and wonder - you are the universe. 

SO, in other news, I am, as usual, hell bent on self-improvement. And in the constant effort to be better, I don't really recognise the instances in which, I have, in fact, been better. I should try to do that. (the following two sections will inevitably be reoccurring on Sincerely, Isabella because I like to recognise good habits and acknowledge the current vibe of my life) 

GOOD HABITS // smoothies in the morning // yoga // seeing friends // writing more regularly // giving yourself a break // 

CURRENT AESTHETIC // The girl who is never without mints because she doesn't quiet have her shit together. Everything's a blur and she doesn't know what's going on but it doesn't mean she's unhappy. Into cosmology, up to date on the news but does't understand her maths homework. You can be this girl if you dress 'hobo chic,' if you go for walks at night, if you go to bed at 8 one night at 3 the next. She'll probably be a different person next week.

You are the universe, 
Bella xx