Saturday, 20 September 2014

florals and hayfever // springtime aesthetic

Springtime is flowers. Springtime is picnics. Springtime is berries. Springtime is ocean swims. Spring time is waving goodbye to the sweet tunes of Bon Iver and bringing in Jay Z because you start to feel like dancing again. Springtime is honey on everything. Springtime is a gloomy cough that needs to kindly fuck off.

You want to push this spring in a particular direction. You want more long walks around the harbour, more photos, more time with the people you want to grow closer to, you want chiffon on a Sunday, you want dancing in fields, you want less tumblr, more life. 

You want more fruit, less cake. More green tea, less coffee. More books, less Instagram. More creating, less watching. More reflection, less idleness. More laughs. More music. More art. 

You're going to investigate French new wave cinema and ways you can cut down on carbon because global warming is not only very real but very scary. You're going to work out how to do the perfect cat eye. Find out more about Freudean psychology. Read more Donna Tart. Spend more time with people that make you laugh. You'll find out more about artists that are unknown, listen to more jazz, embrace insignificance. You're going to work and work for the things that matter. You're going to pull through. You're going to open up, say the things that need to be said. 

You're going to invest in making beautiful breakfasts, eat the avocado, squeeze the lemon, pop blueberries in your mouth. You're going to continue to write in second person because it's your favourite way to write. You're going to keep listening to Empire State of Mind even though it reminds you of your last day and makes you a little sad. You're going to keep being empathetic and keep trying to make the world a little better. You going to smile at the flowers and the bees. Your going to be a pal to everyone and be soft and light without compromising what you want and what's needed. 

You're going to smell like honey and sugar. You are going to say goodbye for a little while, to people that really mean a lot to you. You're not going to know how to feel. You're going to breathe, feel everything, smile and be daring. Hello spring, looking forward to spending some time with you. 

Bella xx 

Sunday, 14 September 2014


I don't know if you've seen the cloud emoji, but if I was looking for a way to objectify how I've been feeling this last week that would be it. Fluffy, sleepy, dreamy, a little bit vague and also a little bit like the old school candy you see being pulled out on a hook. I feel like clouds and it's wonderful and a little scary because to a certain extent...when you feel like this you don't feel like your feeling everything. At least not to the full, not to the ends of your finger tips and the tip of your head. I had a lil' gathering a few weeks ago and I thought I'd share the photos from that wonderful night their soft light and their gentle glow, they encapsulate entirely how I'm feeling.

I'm moving schools in a few weeks. The whole shebang: a new routine, new teachers, finding friends. This is my last week. And it's melancholy and nostalgic and exciting all at the same time. And I'm doing yoga and feeling pretentious. And I'm running. And it all feels very fast for someone who's been in the same vague, almost trance like mood for the last few weeks of a segment of her life. And it's only now that I'm realising that I'm embarking on a whole new segment of my life: one with a different vibe, a different soundtrack, a different feeling and that is a wee bit terrifying. 

I am really damn sleepy, my dears. Not the dreamy nice sleepy, the actual sleep deprived variant of sleepiness. I've been working on my history assignment for the last few hours and listening to songs from the 1920's because I watched 'Magic in the Moonlight,' today and I fear I may have fallen in love with Emma Stone and the 1920's a little bit more (minus the discrimation and shittiness, of course) and I went for a long run around Sydney harbour this morning and the sunlight was doing wonderful things on the water, you could smell summer and it felt very blissful. It was a good day. 

Also I am a little pissed off, and when I say a little pissed off what I really mean is furious, that Darren Wilson, a white police man who shot and killed Mike Brown, an innocent black teen in Ferguson, Missouri about 5 weeks ago hasn't been arrested. It's been 5 whole weeks and I think it's of SUCH importance that we keep the story alive, because it raises a whole lotta questions about race and injustice in relation to 'the system' and having that debate can slowly and steadily spark positive change.

So my dears, I am writing to you at the opening of a week of goodbyes and changes and acceptance. Goals include: doing a lotta exercise to keep up those endorphins, munching on bucket loads of fruit and working of poetry to sift through the complex feelings I am having and will inevitably continue to have.  

One last thought before I sign off for the night: after doing a little bit of reading on Buddhism, I've been trying to think of myself as a 'cosmic being,' as such instead of something entirely concrete. Trying to think of my body as a veichle for my spirit. It sounds like hippie bullshit, I am aware of this but in this mind frame everything does seem just a little more real and my body stops being something I need to critique, which is a breath of fresh air along with a slightly puzzling psychological knot to pick at. 

Sending sleepy, dreamy vibes your way - I promise,
Bella xx 

Tuesday, 2 September 2014

This Is Not A Post About Feminism

I do this thing, ok? I do it because I want to embrace every aspect of myself without oppression of any sort, and I want the roughly half the population that's in the same boat to do the same. I do it because I don't remember signing up for being second rate when I emerged from the womb. I do it because this idea woven into almost every business, every culture, every country, every subgroup on Earth has caused so much pain that how could I not want to dig it out and throw it far, far away. 
This thing I do is called being a feminist and I promise you it's not it's not scary or arrogant or fuelled by male hatred. Feminism is about equality. That's the phrase you take away from this post, the one you etch into your skull, the one you graffiti all  over town. Feminism is about equality. 

For me, the effort to eradicate an unjust idea that's a source of oppression and suffering worldwide and has been for hundreds of years, is not only a super rad important thing to do, it's also just common sense. So if you're scared of the heavily stigmatised label, I guess you could say this is a post about equality, a post about common sense. 

+  Women make up two thirds of the world's illiterate population. 
+  Compromise two thirds of the exploited informal work force
+   One third of the world’s girls are married before the age of 18 and 1 in 9 are married before the age of 15.
+  In AustraliaOn average, annualised full-time earnings for women are 18.2% less than for men. 
+   In Australia, Women represent 3.5% of CEOs in the ASX 200, and 2.4% in the ASX 500

This is clearly bullshit but don't you dare complain about it because god forbid you might be one of those crazy-ass feminist types. A common attitude seems to be, '18.2% less? Oh stop complaining, you'll be fine.' But I don't want to settle for getting there. I don't want to settle for 18.2% less money, or a lower chance at a CEO position based on a lucky draw of genetic makeup. 

Because besides the fact it's just really damn unfair, it's the key idea behind this unfairness that really gets me. Whether it was 40% or 50% or even 90% less, the key idea is be the same. The idea that a women is not of the same value as a man.  
All these individual examples come back to that idea, no matter the degree of oppression or the context. Each specific example of oppression is this idea of inequality personified, no matter the situation. In order to shift the attitudes and behaviours towards women, I think we need to shift the ideals surrounding men and women. Once the attitudes towards women will the behaviours. 

+ Blurred Lines - feminst parody
+  Laci Green's video
+  this wonderful, incredible on point video 

Stay cool, loves. 
Bella xx

Saturday, 30 August 2014

Get Yo Shit Together

So I've been in the process of 'getting my shit together,' for about 3...maybe 4 months. This notion of saying to yourself 'alright Bella time to pull it all back' at eleven every Sunday night and then drearily writing a to do list and a plan. I'm getting reallll tired of my own shit. Inadequacy is showing up in diet, lack of exercise, school work and even at my job, which means unlike school, real people with lives are actually affected. My mojo is gone, my friends, kinda trying my best to get it back. 

I've been painting, reading BJ Novak's short stories, listening to Sticky Fingers, eating dark chocolate and have implemented a kindergarten style 'gold star' system for days when i eat well, do the shit I need to do and do enough yoga for it to be considered proper exercise. I've been running in the rain and then climbing back into bed. I've been realising that motivation isn't about organisation, it's about attitude. I've been lusting over bookstores, the thought of summer and Jack Kilmer. 

I watched Palo Alto and to be honest it was one of the truest representation of the 'angsty teen years' that I've seen. I also killed 3 plants, feeling a lil' guilty about that. I decided this list needed to resurface and wrote it on my chalkboard. I downloaded a solid 5 organisation apps. I've been dancing a lot, thinking about thinking and eating a lotta soup dumplings. I've also been feeling excited nervousness over the fact I'm moving schools and next month I will be the new girl. I've been spending a lot of time on tumblr and I have a few things up my sleeve I think you should see.

+ john stewert's video on ferguson
+ this 
+ this 
+ and also this 

happy Saturday, friends! 
Bella xx 

Monday, 18 August 2014

HOW TO: Television

I don't know if it's official or psychological or just plain incorrect but I am of the opinion we are in a golden age of television. I don't know this is probably something I made up. But what I do know is that I love TV. I love how it allows you to get invested in a set of characters for an extended period of time. I love the drama of it all. I love the culture that surrounds it, the OITNB tumblr hashtag is quite possibly the best place under the Sun.

How ya do it?
As with many things, my approach to TV is divided into two categories, both are equally fun. You be civilised about it, you can pull out the popcorn, sit on the couch with blankets and drink tea and go to bed at a ripe old time before 12. Or you can binge. You can pull an all nighter and drink coffee and struggle through the next day as you find yourself emotionally invested in an alternate reality.

Where do ya get the goods?
Piracy ain't fun. I'm not a fan. I know, I know. It's free, it's easy to access etc. etc. But it breaks my heart to think of people across the globe creating material, writing scripts, learning lines, gathering costumes who are having there work taken from them. Saying this probably makes me super lame, empathy must be for losers.
Netflix is a great pal in these trying times, as is iTunes. If you wanna hold on to you well-earned dollars, as I do, the library is a golden pot for DVD's of all kinds, in particular the best kind of crappy 80's sitcoms.

But Isabella, what on EARTH should I watch?
My current favourites are...
· Orange is The New Black 
· Scandal 
· Parks and Recreation 
· Girls 
· 21 Jump Street (the old Johnny Deep one)
· Sherlock 
· Bob's Burgers
· New Girl 
· Skins (UK) 
BONUS ONES (these are smaller UK miniseries) - The Runaway, The Hour & Burton and Taylor. 

Let me know what you're watching,
Bella xx 

Monday, 11 August 2014

Dear World 04 // Watch Out The World's Behind You

As I write this, I am fresh out of the bath and have just practically dunked myself in rose moisturiser. The monotony of Monday night seems to be a good enough excuse to make yourself smell like a garden. I have a piano exam tomorrow and after what seems like a decade of unmotivated slump, I am pulling my shit back together and reorganising my life again. Life around me seems to be at point of transition. There's a feeling of motion and I can't quite put my finger on why. 

'Sunday Morning' by the Velvet Underground is one of my favourite tunes at the moment and the entire aura of my Sunday seemed to be similar to that of the song. It was dreamy. I spent the day with my favourite girl, Georgia (seen above in her damn rad turtleneck). We had brunch like old ladies and then explored a wealth of vintage stores, thus renewing a love for Sydney I never quite knew I had. 

Speaking of The Velvet Underground, I just finished Patti Smith's 'Just Kids,' and I loved it. Not just because it took me back to a time and a place I want to be part of - 1960's & 70's New York with Andy Warhol and Lou Reed. The Book also held eternal truths about money, love, art and creativity. Seriously, go read it. 

'Just Kids' reminded me how much I don't want to become obsessed with money, with wealth. How much I don't want to feel the need to quantify success or happiness. How much I'd hate to end up a miserable old conservative women in a blazer and a huge house. 

Bella xx

Wednesday, 6 August 2014


Today I do not have many words. I bought a fur coat, all part of my scheme to become Margot Tenembaum. My life at this very moment seems to be entirely a contradiction, all contrast and nothin' else. I seem to be on both sides or somewhere in the middle. The entirely positive bubble of tumblr positivity in contrast with the negative vibes of the outside world. Wanting to rid myself of materialism entirely but still finding comfort in superficial things. Wanting to do everything and anything but feeling flat and unmotivated. Contradicting myself as I develop, am exposed to new things, change. The Internet seems to be getting oddly more personal for me, it's strange the way I can open myself up to this incredibly public world. 

Bella x