Sunday, 5 July 2015

COUNTRY BUMPKIN // bits & pieces from some time away

I’m a bit of a city bitch. Take note of: a love for inner city cafes, security in being surrounded by thousands of people and being disconcerted when I can’t walk to a train station. But even I can’t deny there’s a quiet charisma in the country. I spent the last week in a ‘cabin in the woods,’ of such and confession session: I loved it.

Now, when you’re a sheltered inner city hoe, being 10km outta the city centre feels intrepid. Clearly this is next level shit. We had to open 3 farm gates and almost ran over a possum to get to the house we were staying in.

But it’s all good stuff when you get there, once you figure out how to turn on the heating and use the fire and you turn off your phone and you start reading a book for the first time in forever. That’s a good one.

And it’s a good one when you wake up in your cute floral room and the sun in streaming in and you can see the mountains and the light is hitting the pond in jussstttt the right way.

And I fucking swear…the pies here are better. So are the scones. Not so much the coffee.

And when you do turn on your phone, you text your mates singing the praises of the country and insisting they all come up sometime, for some kind of idealised-Wes Anderson-chummy holiday in the hills.

I guess, in the churn of daily life: you can get a little too used to your own reality. You can lose your perspective; get caught up in petty shit. Maybe you were a bit of a dick about something? Maybe you weren’t enough of a dick about something? Maybe you spent too long looking at memes…whatever…shit happens.

It’s conceivable that when you’ve eaten a few veggie pies and you’ve ran around the house a few times and spotted a few kangaroos…not to forget the wombat you almost ran over; you cleanse yourself of some of the inevitable bullshit of everyday life.  Getting away is some good shit, 10/10 would recommend, Sincerely, Isabella branded gold star.

Onto the marginally more superficial stuff, I listened to some top quality tunes during my time away and made a little playlist!

I also read Super Sad Love Story by Gary Shteyngart, which I really loved. It was clever, the plot moved well and it was funny. I’d recommend it, and this is coming from the girl that used to be super into reading but has kinda gotten out of the habit and is making desperate attempts to get back into the habit.

This wild breed of cold city hoe (me) maybe isn’t quite as much of a city hoe as she once thought. And when she gets home she might even make scones and mushy peas and veggie pies and maybe even super milky coffee if she wants to truly stimulate the country experience.

Travelled recently?
Bella xo

Tuesday, 30 June 2015

send me a parcel // a wishlist

There's nothing quite like consumerism. I'm a sucker for it. It's easy to convince yourself that a fresh new scent or a cute black dress will elevate you to a divine, untouchably perfect being. The ultimate version of you. Sometimes you just have to give into it, I guess. And especially with smaller designers, the intersection of good design, creativity, art and consumerism - can be a pretty nice place to be. Here's a few of my current fave pieces and scents! 

1. Cheap Monday Low Spray Jeans Light Blue 
2. ASOS Midi Dress With PU Pleated Skirt And Funnel Shell Top/
3. The White Pepper Trapeze Dress

4. Gorman Navy Jigsaw Dress
5. Pretty On The Inside Top in Blush
6. Asos Sheer and Solid T-Shirt Dress

7. Smoothie Star Buttercream 
8. Jo Malone Vanilla & Star Anise Cologne
9. Jumbo Shea Body Butter

What products are you lusting over at the moment? 

Much love, 

Friday, 26 June 2015

end of june // a playlist

It's winter and it's holidays. I wake up to soft light, make a cup of tea and put on some's what I've been listening to 

Much love, 

Monday, 22 June 2015

collections of the holidaze // faves & bits from the last few weeks

Let's begin with a few low-key declarations of love. 

Number 1 - Ikea: ingenious, sleek, incredibly well designed, quality meatballs, disconcertingly cheap ice cream. Imagine what we could do if we translated the clever Scandinavian engineering of Ikea into building homes and schools and public toilets in developing countries! 

Number 2 - Orange is the New Black is baCK with a bang. Ruby Rose is apparently converting masses of straight girls, in a display of affection that is well-meaning I'm sure but often devalidating of LGBT+ identities. The new season is fantastic, and the character developments for more minor charecters are refreshing and dynamic. GOLD STAR from Sincerely, Isabella. 

Number 3 - I've become a slightly trashy 8tracks hoe...what can you do. It's a really good tool for hearing about new music, rediscovering old faves, establishing a vibe. A few of my faves: Hot Chocolate & Music, Cafe, Baby Blue , Phosphene 

+ Sexualities and Genders (And Other Terms to Know)
+ I love this...'feminism is uncomfortable. feminism takes the rose colored glasses from mens eyes and throws it against the wall. feminism pops men’s bubble of security and comfort. feminism makes men take responsibility. feminism is a rude awakening' 
+ Sufjan Stevens on Kissing... ' Kissing is madness! But it’s absolute paradise, if you can find a good kisser.' 

MOOD: sunlight, matisse, bright art, still art, paintings of fruit, soft fruit, hot chips, colour, picasso, jazz music, soft light, burnt paper, friends, contentment, no dependence. 

I'm blowing all of my money on coffee and cafe food, what can you do. Sitting in a cafe for hours with a friend talking is bliss, there's a magic in that. Me and my friend Izzy went to a really cute diner today and ate all of our fave foods: avo on toast, mac and cheese, chips. It was so lovely, there's also a magic to discovering areas of your city you didn't know existed. It was a really nice day. 

I'm going to start publishing more poems & stories here, as well as political and social issue articles, opinion stuff, arsty bitsy stuff like this. Hope you've all had fantastic weeks! 

Much love, 
Bella xx 

Tuesday, 9 June 2015

finding simplicity // internet burnout and cutting it back for your sanity

My ultimate pet hate is when my entire generation, gets a slam from some fuzzy guy in his 70's or some fedora wearing moron who is probably a men's rights activist. They accuse us (us being every single person under 25...apparently) of being lazy, or being disconnected, of being stupid, addicted to our screens, further bullshit blah blah blah. 

Let me come out and say it, I love my generation and I fucking love technology. I love the way we're connected, the way we communicate, the fact that we're more knowledgeable then any generation before us and the power that comes with that knowledge.

But for me personally, and I'm sure for lots of others my age, the access to all this information sometimes becomes too much. An overload of the brain, a disconnect from your own thoughts, constant distraction, burnout, burnout...burnout. 

In fact, as a very real life example; here's where I stand, right now, at this very moment in time...months of distraction, too much information, lack of ability to focus, to work out what needs to be done, what needs to happen next. 

And I think to myself: What have you done? You've reached new levels of over-complication, over-dramatisation, lost a little in a world in your head that is entirely conceptual, abstract. You reach a point when you have to step back. 

So after a few months of being entirely caught, I'm stepping back. There's an element of simplicity, that I've lost. And when you lose something, when you lose an undertone or a mood or a feeling of a person or your phone or your sense of worth or your love for shitty tend to miss it. And I do miss it. What is it? Well, honestly who really knows?

Perhaps a kind of freshness, a kind of innocence. A feeling of ignorance, good books, appreciation for tea, spending time with yourself, being comfortable with your own thoughts, facing a shitty emotional backlog, working through it. What are you doing though, Bella? What the actual fuck is involved in finding simplicity? Is this more hippie bullshit? Are you anti-technology now? 

No I'm not anti-technology, not in a million years. This could quite well be hippie bullshit, but it feels like the right path to be on. And for the ultimate question: how do you find simplicity? how do you streamline? Let me tell you what I've done/attempted to do over the last week to remedy my burnout. 

CUT THE BS: Snapchat makes me feel kind of shit and seems to pull up my emotional reliance for miles: which to a further degree, makes me feel shit. So guess who deleted Snapchat? Me. For realsies. Because why on earth, logically, would I spend time on something that makes me feel shit? 

LESS LYRICS: I have a bit of an affinity for long walks. If you happen to spot me on a walk I'll probably be walking quickly to catch a train, a little stressed, headphones in. Now over the past few weeks I've found that I've been so caught up in the lyrics of what I'm listening to that I go into a slightly melancholy daze and not really paying attention to myself. It's all fun and games into your self-awareness becomes foggy. I've traded my alternative and my bad musical soundtracks for piano and classical music, like the pretentious wanker that I am. Instrumental music is more of a background for your thoughts and the scenery and instead of being a distraction, it becomes another layer of sensory focus in each moment. 

STOP USING TECHNOLOGY AS A DISTRACTION FROM EMOTIONAL BUILD UP:  I'll tell you what's a fantastic way to distract yourself from the things that are slowly piling up in your subconscious, ready to blow up at any given moment, possibly a threat to health and safety - bad musical music and Instagram and Tumblr. 

If you're looking for a way to have a low key breakdown, stop reading. Becoming numb to emotions that need to be worked through in order to make decisions or heal isn't all that productive. Of course Sometimes when things are beyond shit, becoming numb to these thoughts is the only way out and in that case then my advice is pretty much redundant and seeing a psychologist would be the best way to go. 

PLANTS & FORESTS & PARKS: When a get a lil' case of the internet burnout, a nice park feat aforementioned instrumental music is the ultimate melody. 

BOOKS AND JOURNALS: Some other good internet burnout tip: good books, writing in a journal, the usual self-care bullshit that I usually sprout, which as a matter of fact isn't actually bullshit and I'm always one to praise it. 

the real question: WHAT IS A SIMPLE HOE? 

A simple hoe loves Ikea. A simple hoe listens to piano music, writes to do lists. A simple hoe is observant, taking note of the clouds and the way water flows through a river. A simple hoe drinks tea and meditates, she writes down her feelings, she feels everything fully. A simple hoe reads on the train. Perhaps we could all do with a little bitta simple hoe inside us. 

Now, obviously this is my subjective interpretation in some more complex which is kind of taking off across the world - Minimalism. It's interesting reading. 

Hope you've all been well, 
Bella xx 

Wednesday, 6 May 2015

DEUX // current mood

It's late and I'm writing a blog post to let you know that a) deux is french for two and that b) all is swell. Over the last week a shit load has happened and I've divided it all up into lil' segments of two because it was the second week of the term and it felt like a good road to go down. 
I was participating in a performance that ended tonight which is a lil' bittersweet and as well as that, I thought it was time for me to share a photo of myself, which I haven't done for a while.

this dress // hazey by glass animals // nostalgia // sleep ins // contentment in the absence of organisation // inspiration from talented individuals // 

Sleep tight, 
Bella xx 

Sunday, 26 April 2015

14 good vibey things I tell myself // notes on positive mantra

As hard as I try to separate myself entirely from the wellness blogger, life-coach, surface of the ocean crew, that in Sydney tends to hang out in Bondi drinking green juice and judging everyone else...there's something that they preach that I always come to crawling back to: blind optimism. 

Now I'll admit: optimistic types can be annoying as hell. Condescending, shallow and convinced they can 'cure' depression with a gratitude jar, that's not a look I'm too keen on. But I'm not gonna pretend that life can't be shit. Utterly and entirely shit (so much for optimism hahA!).
And when you get into a shit situation, telling yourself that the light looks pretty and that you're important and that everything is complex and beautiful, I'm a fan of that

I have a little book, it has a pretty mural on the cover with Indian dancers and it looks good in pictures when sat on a board with an earl grey to the left of it. It comes out around 7:44 on the train, matched with a coffee and usually a jazz number playing on my iPod. It's my book of mantra and in it I write lines that make me feel good, and sometimes I might even close my eyes for a second and say a line a couple times over because I'm a bit of a noob. 

Positive reaffirmations don't have to be cliched and vomit-inducing. Shit like 'smile, you're beautiful' and 'be grateful, you're so lucky,' has never really worked for me. So I tell myself different things, I like to remind myself of the great mass of wonderful content: good films and music and books I'm yet to discover, I like to remind myself of my complexity as a growing changing human being and I like to think about nature and the universe. When I write it down it does sound a little condescending, because they're instructions. Positive instructions, to me, with love, from me. Here are some lil' ones I've written on the train over the last few weeks that have made me feel extra good. 

☆ Wow!!! You fucked up, no biggie! In fact, good on're on the road to flawed dream girl status 
☆ Look at all these people sitting around you, think about the complexity of their lives and the way their lives might be interconnected to yours. Isn't it fascinating to be part of such an interconnected world? 
 Today is going to be a good fucking day, think of all the fantastic people in your life 
☆ Whatever happens at least there's always gonna be good Scandinavian design in this world, look at that man's minimalist watch 
☆ I am so loveable. There's practically sunshine radiating from my body. 
☆ You know what, I got outta bed this morning! Clearly a hella productive day. 
☆  Think of all the books you haven't read. So many of them must be really damn good. Your life can be wonderful and full of purpose and you don't even need to get a job, you can just read all the wonderful books you haven't read yet! 
☆ I'm so deserving of a good day today. 
☆ Think about the stars, think about seeing the stars in the other people in this carriage, in yourself. 
☆ I'm an idiot and I love it 
☆ SO many things matter more than these bad vibes shitty things. For example: FKA Twig, light in the trees, the first sip of tea in the early morning. 
 I am too cute, watch out train catchers. 
☆ I am dangerously optimistic, watch out train catchers.  
☆ I am growing into such a good person. WOw! 

Mantra can't fix everything, but for me it's a helpful way of boosting your good vibe levels! 

Stay good, kids, 
Bella xx

Monday, 20 April 2015

in heavy mist and glitter dust // current vibe

Today is stormy...turbulent almost. Everyone has pulled out their especially fuzzy jumpers, their broken umbrellas. They get caught in the wind, they scowl - Sydneysiders hate rain, you heard it here first. 

For me, today has consisted of two parts, alternating between two themes. One is cosy and safe, the other wild and free.  The warm and cosy was tea in bed this morning, baths in nice herbal body wash, a halumoi burger with a lovely friend in a cute lil' cafe and then laughs with some other mates later in the day. I don't wanna go all Sex and the City on you but let me be real, I love female friendship. Teenage girls have a knack for forming close bonds with each other and then providing emotional-hurricane proof support and radiating positivity - ain't that grand! 

The wild, free part of today was walking in the rain, which gets super fun and maybe even a wee bit beautiful when you give up on trying to stay dry. I also spent much of today listening to 'Pools,' by Glass Animals, the lyrics of which are in the title of this post. It's kinda the perfect song for today, fit for walking briskly through the rain. In fact, when I walked into my back lane on the way home as the rain bucketed down and the street remained deserted I may or may not have even danced a little. 

CURRENT VIBE: I'm the girl writing elaborate plans for the school term that starts in two days. The girl baking cookies and buying flowers. The girl reading shitons of feminist literature so she can have further ammunition to smash the patriarchy. You can be this girl if you see friends for coffee as a means of procrastination and listen to jazz covers. She'll probably be a different person next week. 

Stay cool, kids, 
Bella xx

PS. Body Positive Club is back baby!!! Bea and I wrote a post together on an issue we care about a lot...Slut Shaming! You can check it out here
PPS. My poem...IN FLUX made it into the 8th issue of CHERRY MAG, check it out here